Love

https://hamerstrap.wordpress.com/2018/03/20/love/

One of these days, you are going to wake up and leave.

Visualize this: on a rainy afternoon in the midst of a seemingly infallible summer, you and I are reading each other a love poem. You wearing a dress that said your dead mother gifted when you were younger and I was thinking about all the ways I can make you get up for a cup of Manali tea. Somehow, you sense my thoughts and smile. “Your turn”, you say, and pull me in for a brief session of unfinished breaths and a forever lingering around, just enough for you to wonder if ‘this is it’. But, what if it is not?

I don’t want you to think for a movement that I’m doubting all that rests between us at this hour of the evening. Each night, it is still only your text that I look forward to, perhaps next only to a buddy. It bothers me still when your past keeps you awake, and on nights when I promise that I would sleep soon after we are done talking I only close my eyes to see you in pain, there is this feeling of helplessness every time you tell me about nightmares I couldn’t be a part of.

It’s just…just that I cannot but think of a time when you and I are not in love anymore. It feels terrible, but for all the surrealism that I talk about, I know how ‘real’ it is to fall apart. I have seen it happen. it has happened to you before us.

And it could happen again, but would that take anything away from that afternoon I made you see? It is real – my love for you, and, your love for me. It would always be. Your voice would always be the one that could make me sleep through the roughest of nights, and (giving myself some credit) I would always be the person to have convinced your dad to let you go for all the trips you didn’t let me tag along. He and I would always be drinking partners, I promise.

So, if someday, you find this letter tucked inside a forgotten box of memories, remember…remember how much it means to me, at this movement, to be in love with you. Don’t let us end, even after all of this is over.

Yours